Thursday 5 June 2008

Keiff wakes up on the park bench in the square and gets 'is tooffbrush out of 'is pocket and swishes it 'round in an ole pint glass wiv a few dregs of beer that some bloke left in the bloomin' square. He 'as a puddle of curry sauce on 'is shoulder and Mr Masood passes as 'e is deliverin' the bloody mail and asks 'im about it. Keiff says 'e is "urban campin'." Mr Masood goes 'ome and tells 'is ole lady, sayin' that Keiff's family took them in wen they were 'omeless, right, they should offer. Chelsean 'as werehed and is offhand as Libby enffuses about 'er muvver comin' 'ome soon. Patrick rabbit and porks ter her after Libby 'as gone, sayin' 'e got ter the bloody entrance ter the bobbies station... Chelsea panics and says she can't go hammer and tack inside. He says 'e didn't, and Patrick asks 'er why she did it, and says she ain't a child, right, will she sort 'erself out before 'er muvver gets 'ere next week. She says yes, hastily, and not right sincerely. He says Not so bad, take the chuffin' brass I gave yer ter Tanya, right, give it hammer and tack and apologise, becuase "sorry" can take yer a long way, she might even give yer yor Uncle Bob back. Chelsea thanks 'im sincerely for not tellin', and 'e says "don't let me dahn." She goes ter the salon and moans at Claire, 'oo says she can't blame it all on 'er. Patrick rabbit and porks ter Yolande, right, 'oo finds the chuffin' rolled up note that she were about ter snort the cocaine wiv. Patrick says Chelsean 'ad a scare yesterday. Dorn finds a receipt from a jeweller in Jase's pocket as she is doin' 'is werehin', right? She grins 'appily and tells Mickey she needs 'er 'air done. At the salon, Claire leaves ter go ter lunch as Dorn coems in, right, and says they are too busy, and Chelsea quickly offers ter do it for Dorn. Tanya cotches 'er and Chelsea tries ter apologise, and Lauren finds some male clobugger stuffed in a drorer and asks Tanya wot this is, and Tanya quickly says she were usin' Max's ole underwear as a duster, do wot guvnor! Then Lauren spots a large bunch of flowers that are delivered, but there is no note. Tanya takes the bloomin' underwear hammer and tack to Jack, right, and thanks 'im for the flowers, and 'e says 'e didn't send any. Wen she gets hammer and tack to the salon, Claire says Jane called and asked if she liked the flowers, they were ter thank 'er, init? Claire chats ter Bradley in the bleedin' Vic and 'ave a looks at the show 'ome brochure and says 'ow luvly the spa is. Piers tells Bradley 'e can't lock up the show flat, as 'e is busy, right, and frows the keys at Bradley, right, and Keiff overhears that there is an empty flat and tries ter ask Bradley about it. Bradley rushes off and 'e takes Claire there ter show 'er and 'as taken a bag of food for a picnic lunch, but Claire refuses, and as they leave, right, she says it's not 'im, it's 'er, she ain't ready for a relationship. Piers cotches Bradley and freatens ter tell Maggie about 'is attempts ter get a yunger lass. Bianca and Ricky arrange a dyslexia test for Liam, 'oo 'andcuffs 'imself ter a rail so 'e don't 'ave ter go. They argue as Ricky 'acksors frough Bianca's fluffy 'andcuffs - 'e blames Bianca for bringing this sort of adult toy into the bleedin' house, and adds pointedly that she is out until all 'ours "workin'." Liam says that 'e don't want them ter take 'im oray. Cor blimey guv! Ricky promises that they won't and says 'e will take the test wiv 'im, do wot guvnor! Dorn asks Keiff ter babysit tonight and 'e refuses because she didn't apologise. She says she's not gonna apologise. Later, Jase spots Keiff eatin' chips that some bloke 'as frown in the square werete bin and says that 'is argument is wiv Dorn, no 'ard feelings, right, and 'e gives 'im an 'andful of change. Keiff thanks 'im, and then 'e decides ter get a place ter stay, and goes ter the bleedin' Masood 'ouse. He manages ter chat 'is way in ter wotch TV, right, and then won't move, init? Patrick chats ter Chelsea again, right, and she says 'e is just a guilty screw-up Dad, he 'as 'is fun, drinkin' all day, right, and Patrick says 'e don't 'urt any fairy. Chelsea rants it's one rule for 'im and one for us girls, and she is livin' 'er life, and she 'ave a looks 'round disgustedly at Patrick's 'ouse and sneers that this is all she can 'ave a look forward ter - and adds "Do yer want ter know why I took the drugs, right, it made me feel right good, alive, that coke made me feel that there is a wee bit of life outside all of this crap." Libby 'as been wotchin' and listenin' ter all of this and gets somewot 'ysterical. Chelsea leaves the bleedin' room. Patrick calls Lucas. Jase says 'e 'as ter work late because the tart 'oo is employin' 'im in the bloomin' flat is a slave-driver. He 'as a surprise for Dorn and makes 'er cover 'er mince pies and shows 'er - 'e 'as bought a van, wich obviously disappoints 'er as she were expectin' the jewellery. Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you? She goes 'ome and sits dahn sulkily wen Mickey asks 'ow it went