Tuesday 10 June 2008

Chelsea rolls in right late and Denise is waitin' up ter check up on 'er. Chelsea says she 'asn't done anyfink - she 'asn't got enough brass even if she wanted ter and sarcastically invites Denise ter search 'er. Denise does, much ter Chelsea's disgust. She says she 'as 'ad the mockers put on drugs and Denise asks why she started. Chelsea says ter make 'er feel right good for a few 'ours, right, forget wot she 'ad done. Cor blimey guv! Chelsea adds that she is sorry Kevin died, but she is Denise's daughter, right, not Carly, and she were just out of prison wen Denise left 'er, so Denise can't just turn up and make evryfink awright. Chelsea says bitterly that boff Denise and Lucas can just write 'er off as a mistake, and they boff seem ter have got it right for their second child -Libby is Wee Miss perfect, and Lucas is doin' the chuffin' right fin' for 'is son. Chelsea wines ter Libby that she (Chelsea) is pretty [wot, eh, squire? how conceited is that, right, she's right nuffink special, right, particularly wen she is 'ung over and spaced out! Blimey!] but Libby 'as the Michael Caines and a future. I'll get out me spoons. Chelsea wines on wiv an incredibly unattractive self-pityingly rant and Denise apologises for not bein' there for 'er and says she will make it up ter her, init? Shirley is chattin' ter Vinnie about 'er managership of the rub-a-dub and ways ter make more profit. She wants ter sort out competitions and there is a footie league, right, wich Vinnie and Ricky are keen ter join. Vinnie canvasses players and Jack says 'e will play, midfield. Right. Bradley says no, and Claire says she luvs footie, and Jack suggests she could be the bloody physio - that would cop the bleedin' players in. Claire asks Vinnie ter write 'er name dahn and turns up at the practice in right short shorts and scores a goal. Vinnie makes them do sit-ups and push-ups, etc. She flirts wiv Jack. Charlie 'as arranged a date wiv Brenda and asks Jean wot she's been goin' on about. He forgets the bloody name of 'er children and invites Jean ter join them so she can 'elp 'im wiv this. Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. Brenda sends Charlie off ter get drinks and Brenda asks Jean if she is wiv Charlie, and if not, could she 'ave some time alone wiv Charlie. Jean apologises and leaves. Brenda invites Charlie ter a concert and mentions 'er ole man "Wilf." She discovers 'is lie wen she rabbit and porks about 'is "perfect summer," wich 'e 'as no idea about. He apologises profusely but she says 'e 'as deceived 'er and she rushes off. Lucy brings 'er boychina hammer and tack and says 'e 'as been frown out of 'is squat and Ian says why is 'e 'ere, then, eh, luv? She says she told 'im 'e could stay, and then says she could show 'im 'round some of the bloomin' squats she used ter use, and Ian says 'astily (after a near-heart attack), right, Not so bad, he can sleep in Peter's room. Ollie is also a vegetarian so Ian makes potato curry and asks 'im 'is plans. Lucy tries ter shock Ian wiv rabbit and pork of a tattoo and various piercings, right? She is shocked wen Ian and Jane play along and rabbit and pork about copping piercings of their own. Lucy calls 'is bluff and says it makes more sense for Ollie ter share 'er bed. Ian shouts no, she is only 14, not under 'is roof and no piercings. Lucy smirks and says 'e lasted longer than she fought 'e would - she 'ad fought the tongue stud would push 'im over the edge, and she ain't copping tattoos or piercings, but Ollie is 'er boymate and if she wants to, right, she will. She is better at messing games than 'e is - she must take after 'er muvver. Jase ends up not takin' 'is baby ter May's flat because she's teebugger and May is extremely disappointed, and 'as bought 'er a wee toy. Jase takes it wiv thanks, and then May says peraps 'e could brin' the baby tomorrow, but Jase says the bleedin' work is finished now. Chelsea is rummagin' 'round in Patrick's dominoes box and 'e says that's a great idea, and they can all play. He puts the box on the chuffin' table, and tips it out, to spot the bag of cocaine that she 'ad 'idden there. Denise is furious that she were deceived into feelin' sorry for Chelsea.