Monday 23 June 2008

Dot chats ter Bradley, sayin' she always said "don't trust a lady doctor". It's Abi's birffday and Tanya gives 'er a present ter open now, right, and she gets the chuffin' rest afterwards, init?She 'as a knees-up later, right, and runs ter the door wen there is a knock, and is 'orribly disappointed wen it's Jack, not 'er favver. She runs off. Tanya apologises ter Jack ,sayin' there’s only one geezer she is interested in, right? Coincidentally, right, there's also a birffday in Pat's 'ouse, of Bianca's yungest, right? Morgan says 'e wants a knees-up, right, and Bianca asks Pat for an 'andout, sayin' she can't afford a knees-up, but 'e wants one. Tanya leaves for work and Dot says she will make food for Abi's knees-up, and Jack tells 'er ter ask Ian and tell 'im ter send 'im the bloody bill. Dot says Tanya is lucky ter have 'im, and Jack replies smooffly that 'e is the bloomin' lucky one. Dot takes the list ter Ian, and 'e asks Bianca ter do it, for an extra 25 pounds, right, and she is delighted, as she will be able ter afford a knees-up for Morgan, do wot guvnor! Ricky invites Bianca ter dinner, wiv the free meal 'e won at the bloomin' Vic raffle, but she can't go as she 'as the knees-up. Vinnie suggests 'e makes 'er jealous instead, so 'e goes ter ask Claire. She is 'avin' a bad day (as 'er muvver died on the bloomin' 22nd) and says she'd ravver stick pins in 'er mince pies. Ricky invites Vinnie since 'e 'as no-one else, and 'e jokes about bein' 'is date. Stacey wonders wot 'er nervous muvver is doin' - she is tidyin' the kitchen. Jean tries ter put the mockers on 'er answerin' the dog and bone and Stacey asks 'er if she's been takin' the pills. Wen she 'as gone, Jean phones up a bloke called Ted and leaves incoherent messages about a date at Fargo's tonight. Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. Mrs Masood is tidyin', and still moanin' ter her ole man about 'avin' ter put up wiv Keiff. He applies for the bloomin' Uncle Bob Pat puts up for anuvver cab driver, as does Denise, 'oo 'as 'ad Barney Rubble findin' a Uncle Bob since she got back. Pat says she can't choose, she'll be accused of favouritism, so Vinnie arranges a contest, right, a race wiv radio-controlled cars. Denise wins fairly. Dot and Bradley put up decorations in Tanya's 'ouse. Jack ain't impressed, and goes ter get some better ones from the chuffin' club, right, complete wiv a light show. Dot forces Claire ter come wiv 'er, right, even fough Claire 'as skived off work, sayin' she were sick and Tanya is annoyed wen she spots Claire. Dot opens the bloomin' door ter a snotty child called Bernadette, 'oo is a wee bitch and rabbit and porks condescendingly ter evry geezer, includin' adults. She asks 'ow long Abi will be keepin' them waitin' and then asks if Mr Brannin' will be joinin' them today. Dot says err no, and she tells Dot that 'er muvver says children from broken 'omes end up as prostitutes. Abi arrives, right, and Bernadette makes a bitchy comment about Abi's dress 'ave a lookin' like a doll's, do wot guvnor! Jack and Tanya rabbit and pork in the kitchen and she thanks 'im for evryfink 'e 'as done, right, and puttin' up wiv the girls and Oscar, and all the bleedin' hassle, and 'e says 'e likes it - it makes up for wot 'e is missin', and wot they 'ave 'ere is evryfink 'e wants. Right. They seem right 'appy togeffer, right? Jean is copping ready for 'er date, right, and Stacey sneaks hammer and tack from the stall ter check up on 'er. Jean makes up a random story about wot she is doin', right, sayin' that she is lonely 'ere at 'ome. Stacey says Not so bad, and she will 'elp Jean fix 'er Nanny Goat Race. Jean asks woss wrong wiv the bloody [exaggerated clown] make-up she 'as put on. Stacey says nuffink if she wants ter go out 'ave a lookin' like Roxy Mitchell! Struth! Later, right, Jean is all dressed up and Vinnie comes ter collect 'er in a cab, right, and makes an appreciative comment. Jean is nervous. Stacey comes 'ome after she 'as gone, right, and checks the chuffin' pack of Jean's pills, findin' that Jean 'as missed takin' some. Mrs Masood is frantic about 'avin' ter cook for ten (her family and the bloody Millers) and she is snappy and impatient wen Jase says 'e wants ter say sumfink and 'e proposes ter Dorn again. Jay runs off in an 'uff. Abi's knees-up is Not so bad, the lights are switched off, right, and the birffday cake comes out wiv candles, right, and she blows them out (and presumably makes a wish). Behind 'er, right, the bleedin' door opens and the bloody light is switched on - by Max. Jack and Tanya 'ave a looks worriedly at each uvver