Friday 27 June 2008

Bradley and Stacey wonder why the front door is struck, right, and 'e realises it is locked, and Jean and Dot did it on purpose. He says why don't they just rabbit and pork since that's obviously wot they want, and they will be hammer and tack soon. Stacey says she is claustrophobic, right, and almost smashes a window ter get out, but Bradley puts the mockers on 'er, right, sayin' 'e luvs 'er. Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. He says 'e 'as forgiven 'er, it were all Max's fault, and Stacey says thanks, but she 'asn't forgiven 'erself, and she couldn't take it if Bradley decided later 'e couldn't live wiv 'er. She says Bradley said 'e fought she'd cheat on 'im again some time. Right. He says 'e were upset at the time. She says it's Mae West to leave it as mates. Tanya and Max argue about 'im movin' hammer and tack in. He is aggressive and belligerent and she gives in and says she 'as been seein' some bloke else, init?She is frightened and says 'e is 'urtin' 'er as 'e is grabbin' 'er. He insists that she tells 'im 'oo it is and wen she tells 'im, he says that Jack took advantage of 'er and Jack only wants 'er because she belongs ter him. The bloody shoutin' wakes up Abi, right, 'oo comes dahn the apples and pears and asks woss 'appenin'. Max freatens ter tell the kids wot duplicitous wee 'oore Tanya is, and says guess wot Abi, right, yer know yor uncle Jack, eh, luv? She is all ears, waitin' for the bleedin' reveal and Max says 'e ain't Daddy's favourite geezer right now, and 'e goes over ter see Jack. Max walks in and tells Jack that Tanya took 'im back. Jack says sceptically, right, isit?Max can't keep it up and attacks Jack, and says were it a mistake, then, guv? Jack says no, he luvs 'er, and Max ain't exactly on the bloody strongest ground ter preach about fidelity and loyalty. He says Tanya were strugglin' and 'e were 'ave a lookin' out for 'er, right, and 'e is sorry, right, but that were a recent development, right, and 'e is just gahn wiv 'is 'eart. Max says 'e knows Jack only wants ter get hammer and tack at 'im. He says Jack must 'ave been laughin' wen 'e told Jack 'e 'ad changed. Jack says no, he felt a bit sorry, but 'e knows Max won't change. Max says Jack lied ter his kids. Jack is astounded and says "they're children, wotcher want me ter do - cop ffem up the apples and pears ter wotch me servicin' their muvver?" Jack tells Max ter take a step back, right, he's not gahn anywhere, and will be wiv Tanya like it or not. Jack says she is mine now and frankly yer don't stand a chance of copping 'er back. Max frows a punch but Jack is obviously a better fighter and gets 'im in a bobbies arm lock on the chuffin' floor in seconds. Tanya walks in. Jack says it got out of 'and, and asks Max if 'e 'as calmed dahn and is gonna behave 'imself. Cor blimey guv! Max asks ter talk ter Tanya alone, and 'e tells 'er that 'e were a mess wivout 'er, and fought 'e were gahn mad, all 'e wanted were 'er. He says 'e didn't call or visit 'er because 'e promised. He did all that, because 'e luvd 'er. He says she 'as ter believe 'im. Cor blimey guv! She says yes, right, she believes 'e tried, that's good, and wen 'e left she wanted it back, but then she got a grip and she got better and Jack 'appened, and she fell in luv wiv 'im. She luvs Jack, right, and she's sorry. Jack walks in, and Max gets bitchy again and says Jack don't knows a few wee fings about 'is darlin' ole lady and wot she did before 'e left. Tanya says don't, but Max continues, and says Tanya and Sean tried ter kill 'im, right, bury 'im alive. Jack stares at Max wiv a straight Nanny Goat Race and says yes, he knows, she told 'im, right, last week, and 'e were flattered that she trusted 'im that much. He says "I know, and I approve; the only fin' she did wrong were dig yer up again." Jack stands wiv 'is arm 'round Tanya and says there is nuffink Max can do that will split them up - Max can eever accept it or slink oray. Max says Jack were the bloody favourite son, but 'e will pay for this, he's gonna lose. Jack tells 'im ter show 'imself out. Max turns on Tanya, right, addin' all that stuff about trust, right, understandin' is the pack of lies 'e always fought it were. Max says Jack is only wiv 'er because she is 'is - there are better 'ave a lookin', yunger bints 'round, and Jack wouldn't 'ave a look twice at 'er if she weren't 'is