Friday 2 November 2007

Ronnie and Jack go loaf of bread to loaf of bread in a game of poker and large sums of cash are at stake. The game begins and Ronnie wins the openin' round, right, but Jack feels as fough she 'as played 'im for a fool. I'll get out me spoons. Jack (wearin' 'is nice dark grey whistle and flute again today) is stayin' wiv Max, 'oo apologises for 'is behaviour yesterday. Max is affectionate ter Tanya 'oo, ironically, jokingly asks if 'e's feelin' guilty. Ronnie is (acely) practisin' dealin' cards. She tells Roxy ter make sure Peggy goes out tonight and then they need ter get 4 grand ter gamble and cop enough ter pay off Peggy's debt. She goes ter the bleedin' Post Office, where Jack is tellin' Shabnam that 'e gave 'er twenty and she 'as short-changed 'im. She protests, but 'er muvver just gives 'im some brass. She argues wen 'e 'as gone, and says 'e gave 'er ten and she stick it in the till, and 'er muvver says sarcastically "wiv the uvver ten pound notes?" and the chuffin' only note in the till is a 20. [We didn't spot wot she gave 'im as 'is change.] Ronnie follows Jack out of the Post Office, right, and 'e again repeats that it will be easy takin' brass off 'er if she can't tell if 'e were bein' 'onest in there. She says 'e needs a right good slap, and 'e says 'e finks she likes 'im right. She denies it and 'e points out she is still followin' 'im 'round. Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. Shabnam leaves, right, to wine ter Carly that she is sleepwalkin' in the bloody Post Office Uncle Bob and wants ter quit but 'er muvver won't let 'er. Wen she tries to, right, she is persuaded ter take an evenin' course in business instead. Jack goes ter invite Patrick ter join the bloomin' poker game, and Patrick is busy, right, but Pat overhears 'is sexist comment about some fings are Mae West left ter men, do wot guvnor! Pat says Jack Brannin', right, ain't it, then, luv? If yer want anuvver player, count me in. Cor blimey guv! Jean is still stayin' at Charlie's, and needles Sean, sayin' that she were 'ave a lookin' forward ter spendin' the bleedin' day wiv 'er boy, right, but 'e 'ad that 'ave a look yesterday, "man wiv a mission", and 'e clearly 'as sumfink on 'is mind, but it's just us now; Stacey is married, right, just me and me boy. Sean desperately needs ter get out. Jean and Dot chat, and Jean says Sean is avoidin' 'er and Dot says sons are sometimes difficult, like 'er Nick, right, he were misunderstood, but then 'e 'ad uvver Barney Rubble, wiv the lor, init?Jean suggests ASBO, petty fievin', then, eh, mate? Dot replies, no drugs and murder mostly, but 'e is gone now. Dot says she should rabbit and pork ter Sean wile she can, there are still fings she wishes she said ter Nick. Sean spots Max and Tanya ball of chalk past in the park. He says sarcastically "happy families". They discuss yesterday and Sean says Max is lucky, right, a bit of Dads don't cop on wiv their daughters in lor, not right good enough for their sons, right, and all that, but yer like us Stacey don't yer, then, eh, guv? Max says defensively "yea". Tanya asks for a coffee and rabbit and porks ter Sean alone wile Max gets it. Sean says Max is attentive. Tanya starts on about wot 'e said at the chuffin' weddin' and 'e says it's not about that, not wen I know wot 'e... Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. Tanya tells 'im ter spit it out, right, how bad can it be, isit?He is soooo tempted, right, but bites 'is tongue, and she says she fought so: grow up, right, Sean. He sulks and Jean calls 'im, and 'e ignores 'er, do wot guvnor! Jack arrives and spots Peggy leavin'. Roxy 'as bribed Shirley ter work wiv double pay, but she finds out it's a poker game and she says she agreed before she knew 'ow much they needed 'er ter work. She asks Roxy for 200 quid, and they agree on 75, right, but only if Ronnie wins, init?In the bar, right, Jack tells Dot that 'e will come wiv Dot ter visit Jim tomorrow, and she asks 'im ter stay, right, and 'e says Max will object, right, and Dot says 'e can stay at 'ers wile Bradley and Stacey are oray. Roxy is pourin' the drinks. Max and Pat are the uvver players in the game. Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you? Ronnie is dressed like a croupier and announces 5-card dror, right, ten pound minimum bet. Pat deals. Max folds and Jack taunts 'im, and Max says 'e's messing a long game. Ronnie wins the first 'and and Jack says patronisingly "'oo's a lucky girl then?" Pat points out she beat 'im. Then Jack wins five 'ands in a row, right, and they take a break. Max and Pat smoke togeffer and Pat asks if there is sumfink gahn on. Jack flirts wiv Ronnie. Roxy asks 'er woss up and Ronnie is obviously doin' it deliberately. Pat reconvenes, right, soundin' incredibly like the dealer in some ole Western poker game. Right. Jack wins a big 'and against Max, 'oo is right surprised and a bit suspicious. Jack is copping right cocky and 'e flirts wiv Ronnie, right, sayin' pointedly that if they carry on like this, they will all be in bed early. Roxy and Ronnie wisper in 'e kitchen, Ronnie says 'e is 100% cheatin', wiv the bloomin' cards she dealt 'erself (she is cheatin' too) she should 'ave won the last two 'ands, so 'e must 'ave cheated. So, she 'as a plan - 'e is sly, but she knows, and she is too. Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. She pours 'erself a large drink, and acts slightly drunk, right, and raises the chuffin' stakes, init?He says couple of 'undred, then, mate? She gets out fousands, right, and says she were finkin' more of this. Max and Pat drop out. £1,500 goes on the table on a reasonable first deal. They cop a few cards each and Ronnie 'as 4 9s (wich she knows 'e knows she 'as) and Jack 'as 4 3s. Anuvver few fousand is put on the table. Evry geezer in the bleedin' bar 'ears about the bettin' and goes ter wotch. Roxy shakes 'er loaf of bread minutely at Ronnie and Jack spots 'er do this. Ronnie bets all 'er brass, and Peggy arrives 'ome just in time. Peggy says that's their brass, and tries ter grab it, and Jack puts the mockers on 'er 'and, right, sayin' the brass's on the table. I'll get out me spoons. He puts dahn 4 (cheatin') jacks, right, and Ronnie puts dahn 4 (cheatin') kings. A puzzled frown crosses Jack's Nanny Goat Race. The game is over. Cor blimey guv! He asks 'er ter play again some time: that were fun. He leans right close ter her as 'e says goodbye. Peggy is delighted and Roxy says Jack is sexy. Jean leaves Sean a message that she's gahn hammer and tack to 'er 'ome, right, and 'e goes hammer and tack home. He finds 'er there, right, and is furious that she lied. He frows 'er bags out and shouts wildly at 'er ter leave. She wails that she just wants ter talk, right, she fought... He says nastily, "don't fink - yer ain't got the bloomin' equipment." 'e wotches 'er cross the square and she is jostled by a group of yobs, one of 'oom knocks 'er over, init?Sean is there in seconds, right, grabbin' the bloke and then 'e goes completely bonkers and 'olds 'im dahn, tellin' 'im that 'e shouldn't scare ruddy ladies, and as 'e yells at 'im madly, rantin' that causin' unnecessary pain and sufferin' is 'is specialty. Jean screams at 'im ter put the mockers on. He walks off wivout doin' any real damage ter the bleedin' lad, right, alffough it 'ave a looked like a close call